Mourning
by TwistedFortune
Summary: Cody's life hasn't really been all that great ever since the end of World Tour, not by a long shot. Not that it was good to begin with, mind you. But recently after visiting Gwen's grave again, he's been feeling even more gloomier than usual. One question always seems to be on his mind, which is 'where did it all go wrong'. This is the life of Cody Anderson, and his mourning.
1. Mourning

Sighing, Cody finally finished typing in the last few lines of code to the project the company he was working with was creating.

It had been a long, long day to say the least.

The entire system crashed 3 times, his co-worker was sick so he had to do his work for him, and to top it all off, Cody was feeling gloomier than usual. Then again, it was that time of year again. The time of year where the 5th anniversary of the Total Drama series came around, and every single time it came around it always reminded him of her.

Instantly, when his mind shifted to her, he let out a longing sigh.

What would she say at a moment like this to make him lighten up? Make a sarcastic quip about how he's coding for a living and his name is Cody? Give him a kiss on his cheek? Hug him? Or, would she insult him and berate him for living alone in a trashy apartment with hardly any friends outside of work regardless of all the money he had to move out and the opportunities he had to pursue a better career.

Truth be told, Cody really didn't want to move out of his trashy apartment, or pursue a better, more fulfilling career. He was strangely happy this way, attached to his current lifestyle. He couldn't imagine a world in which he woke up in a place other than his apartment, go down into the kitchen and pour a bowl of cereal, watching the mice scurry across his living room and into a hole in the wall, or going to his programming job and pumping out hundreds of lines of code a day, then going home and sitting infront of the tv, sometimes re-watching all of Total Drama and reliving the 'glory days'.

While this life may currently be a pretty boring and unfulfilled one, he would strangely not have it any other way. It was like this routine was permanently scarred into his soul.

But now, he had another problem: She was on his mind again, and with her came the usual feelings: Dread, longing, sadness, anger, and emotional distress.

The only upside to this was that his job was finally over for the day and he can go home to his trash hole and sit down and rewatch a few episodes of Total Drama Island and imagine being with her there, and not just with her, but with her with her.

Stacking a few papers and putting them down in the drawer of his desk, he rose to his feet and checked his phone.

7:30 PM.

He actually completed work pretty early today. Usually, he would finish at about 7:50 or so, but no.

Walking through the door to his office and going into the hall, he said his goodbyes to his boss who reminded him he was working tomorrow.

Tomorrow was Saturday.

This day just kept getting worse and worse. Usually on days like this, Cody would just go and take a hot shower and burn all the troubles away and wash them all down the drain. But today... He was feeling like doing a little something different.

Today, he decided, he was going to go visit Gwen. Maybe that would cheer him up, or at the very least get her out of his head. He didn't get to see Gwen often, seeing as to how he usually got off work at late times and missed the opportunity due to the time being so late, and just not feeling up for it in general... But today was strange. He had to see her. It was the only thing which would set his mind at ease.

So then off he went.

Out in the parking lot, he pulled out his keys and unlocked his car: an old 2005 Hyundai Sonata. Walking over to it, he pulled the door open and crawled inside the stained interior of the old junker.

He got the car from his uncle, shortly before he passed away last year. His uncle hadn't really taken care of it, infact, when Cody got it was actually in worse shape than this which may surprise the average Joe.

Granted, the car was in pretty bad shape at the moment, but it was not near as bad as it was when it was in his uncle's possession.

Putting his keys in the ignition, he turned the engine on, which stuttered and chugged as it struggled to power up. After a few tries, the engine finally sprang to life, thus beginning his journey to Gwen.

He pulled on into the intersection, which seemed to be pretty empty today. Not a single soul but him.

This only served to make him even more gloomy, especially given the location he was going. But he kept on the road, determined.

Taking a left, he steered away from his usual path, something which gave him a small tinge of anxiety; he didn't like breaking his routine. But for her, he would suffer this slight feeling of inconvenience. He looked over at the clock. '7:40 PM' it read.

He was going to run out of time and not get there in time.

Soon, after 5 minutes, the building came into view.

He parked in the parking lot and got out, stepping onto the grey concrete of the lot. A few people stood next to the gate to the building, sobbing lightly and he had a feeling soon he would be too.

The guard next to the gate grunted as he peered over his newspaper.

"You again? Man, weren't you here last month?" He sighed. "Nevermind. here." The guard pressed a few keys into his keyboard and the gate infront of him opened, allowing him entry. "You have 15 minutes before we close. Make it quick buddy boy."

Nodding, Cody swiftly entered the field.

Flowers bloomed and trees grew, but regardless of these, a terrible depressing feeling loomed over the place. For in the field, acres of headstones jutted fourth from the ground, forming neat rows in the fields.

Cody had no trouble traversing through this maze of headstones;he knew the path he was going through by heart.

Finally after a few minutes of walking through the depressing land, he found her.

Sighing, he sat down infront of her.

"H- hey Gwen."

No response.

"I'm sorry... I just... God it's so crazy." he chuckled. "I just can't get you out of my head today. I've been having a pretty garbage day. How about you?"

Still no response. The skies above him were growing dark as the Sun began to set, throwing rays of bright orange light across the darkened skies. Cody sighed once more, placing his head in his hands.

He sat like this for what felt like hours, just enjoying being near her. Occasionally his gaze drifting up to the sky. "Pretty beautiful sunset, eh Gwen?"

Still no response, but Cody felt a small smile growing across his face.

"You know, I've been thinking of moving out of my apartment and moving to an actual place that's nice... But I don't really want that. Part of the reason is because I'm actually fine the way I am living life at the moment, regardless of the gloomy feeling I get everyday... But the other reason is because I don't want to be to far from you."

No response still, and above him, the sky grew darker and darker, and Cody's smile began to fall into a frown.

"Hey kid, times up. Gotta lock up." The guard called from behind him.

Slowly, Cody stumbled up to his feet, trying his best to keep himself together. He always hated the part when he had to say goodbye.

"Well Gwen... My times up. G- goodbye I guess. Until next time."

Swiftly, Cody turned his back to her and began walking the fields of headstones, out towards the way he entered, giving one last glance behind him.

Infront of where he was sitting, a single headstone jutted from the ground like all the others near it, and with it, a single purple flower lay infront of it. The headstone had writing etched into it which said:

**"Here lies Gwendolyn Everett**  
**1996-2014**  
**Gone, but not forgotten."**

* * *

**A/N: Alright so I have decided to go ahead and make this a multi chapter story, of about 4 chapters. Basically, it's going to be Cody dealing with the tragedies in his life and trying to move on. This was originally a one shot with the reveal of Gwen being dead not being given away in the description, but given the content in the second chapter and the plans I have for the story, I see no real point in hiding the detail. Especially since it's already kind of given away from the fact Cody drives up into a graveyard.**

** This chapter I feel does a pretty good job of setting things up, so I'll go ahead and keep it the same.  
**

**Speaking of description, I've been racking my head on the description of this story for the past 30 minutes trying to think of a way to make it sound good before settling on the current one. Let me know what you think about it, and the story in general. I'm a fan of brutal constructive criticism.  
**

**Thanks for reading, and I hope you'll stick around for more!**

**-Twisted**


	2. Comfort

Regardless of having 2 fans blowing, and the AC on full blast, Cody still found himself unable to cool himself off in his small cramped apartment. Complaining to the manager really did no good, it was something that they really had no money to fix, and now when he asked her about it she just flat out told him she really didn't care and that if he wanted something better, he should just move out.

Cody still didn't want to move out.

He could put up with the blazing summer heat and the horrible sleepless nights if it meant being near Gwen. Plus, as said before, he really could not imagine not waking up in the morning here, in this place.

Currently, Cody sat on his dirty torn up old brown couch in the small living room of his apartment.

Trash piled up in the corners and floor of his apartment, old food and wrappers scattered all over the floor. Two fat rats scurried across the dirty floor, both with a few pieces of rotten food in their mouths. The two rats scurried into another large pile of garbage in the room, probably where their nest was.

It's not like Cody WANTED to live in this garbage. It's just that he couldn't imagine not. He had grown used to living in the pig sty, and didn't really want to change anything. Why change the way you live if you're perfectly comfortable with it? But then the age old question comes up; Is he really comfortable like this?

He had thought about this question countless times before, for hours on end, and it always lead up to Gwen and Total Drama, which didn't satisfy the question. So he just chose to push the question to the back of his mind now, no use in pondering it for hours on end over and over again if he wasn't going to reach a good answer.

Currently, it was Saturday.

Cody had just finished working for a few hours, like his boss told him. Usually, he was off work Saturday, unless of course he was working overtime, which he asked to do nearly every Friday to the point where his boss just refused outright to allow it. Saying that he worked way too much. And yeah, Cody would give him that; he really did work too much. But he loved working, takes his mind off things.

Today was different though, and it kinda bothered him. His boss told him the day before he had to work today, so he went ahead and did as he was told. It wasn't anything too difficult, just a revisions of code here and there, and then he was finished and free to go home.

So, as he does on every Saturday, and Sunday, and every other day and time he wasn't working, Cody was sitting up on his old couch watching old episodes of Total Drama Island and World Tour.

He would sit here, the entire day watching these episodes over and over again, choosing to lose himself inside his 'glory' days.

Right now, he was on the episode 'I see London', where Gwen and Duncan shared their first kiss.

He was very tempted to just go and skip the episode, and a few after it to where Gwen and Duncan were gone, but he chose to instead continue watching no matter how much it hurt. The current scene was where Gwen and Courtney had Heather tied up on the stretching torture device. Cody had been captured already, along with Sierra by 'Jack the Ripper' in a scene previous to this, so he wasn't really in the episode all that much.

Suddenly, he paused the episode and just stared ahead at the screen. Or to be specific, Gwen.

God he missed her...

Sometimes when he saw Gwen on the show, he was brought back to the time where Gwen and Cody actually started to become really good friends...

* * *

It was a few weeks after the end of Total Drama World Tour, and Cody was still pretty saddened by the fact that he had lost not only the prize money, but Gwen. Both of which he lost to men who were stronger, more attractive, and to Cody, both massive assholes. This was of course the story of his life, so it wasn't really nothing he wasn't used to. And it didn't surprise him one bit.

But he actually had hope this time, had hope that he could actually go and finally win the show, win something for once in his life that wasn't a video game.

How foolish he was.

He was a complete fool for thinking that for once in his life, he would be able to finally overcome something and win. But as usual, life set him up on a high pedestal, and gave him a swift kick in the ass to push him off and back down to the lonely dark ground.

He had done what was to be expected; holed himself up in his room at the hotel in a depressed state, only leaving the room to go grab food and drinks. He had to do his best to not break down infront of his fellow contestants pitying looks that they gave him as he walked past them. He did the best he could to ignore everything, disconnect himself from things.

But he was actually starting to get better now. "Things may have gone bad, but it will get better. Eventually." he told himself as he always did before when times got really tough.

Cody always was like this, optimistic even in the face of terrible sadness.

Nothing ever did get better of course, but Cody found it comforting to lie to himself about the future.

Well, 'lying' was a strong word. He didn't really know what the future held. But very recently, that very fact was starting to make him a little on edge for some reason, maybe he was afraid of things going even more wrong, maybe he was afraid of actually getting somewhere and then falling back down into the dark abyss, or maybe he was just a person of massive habit.

But the problem with him being a person of habit was that was complete crap. He had never been a person of habit. Infact, he hated habits...

At the moment, he was outside of his room, much to everyone's surprise, sitting next to what few friends he had at the place in the pool rom. Noah, Ezekiel to some extent, Harold, and unfortunately, Sierra.

Sierra had been trying to break into his room countless times during the time he was holed up in it, trying to get in in order to 'comfort' him. But he didn't want to be comforted, and especially not by her. He could get through this on his own. He always had been alone and had to rely on himself to get through tough things, and by God he would do it again and again.

Even though Cody thought he had reached an understanding with Sierra at the end of World Tour, it didn't take very long for her to return to her usual, brutish stalking ways. Although she atleast had the courtesy to not do it all the damn time. Or maybe she was just glad to see him out of his room and didn't want to scare him off again. Who knew?

He sipped his soda slowly, trying to make it last him in the hot Hawaiian Sun, but that was proving to be a fruitless effort.

"Cody, you've been sipping on that thing for the past hour. And it's a small." Noah quipped "The refills are free you know..."

A small smile spread on Cody's face, which made everyone more glad to see him returning to his old self.

He didn't respond, he normally didn't respond to Noah's sarcastic quips about the things around him, but he continued to sip the drink. Around him, almost all of the former contestants were swimming around in the pool, enjoying the nice warm sun.

Sierra sat at the opposite side of table, facing him and eye raping him, a crooked smile on her face. "Codykins, the way you sip that drink is so cute!"

Cody was creeped out, and about to respond when Chris came out into the pool area looking for him.

"Cody?" He said into the microphone, catching his attention and everyone else's.

"Yeah?" Cody called back, sitting up, almost afraid of what Chris was doing looking for him.

Chris looked strange. A look of... Sympathy on his face? At the time, Cody figured maybe it was the sun playing a trick on his eyes. How wrong he was.

"I just got a phone call from your mother." His voice sounded a bit shaky, like he was nervous to continue, but Cody didn't really pick up on it.

"My mother?" he cocked his head.

His mother really didn't care about Cody that much. She actually verbally abused him on more than one occasion. To her, he just seemed like a big massive failure, someone leaching off her and his father's money. His father however, was much more nicer and approachable to Cody than she was. His father actually legitimately felt bad that Cody didn't have his parents in his life that much and even spent time with him when he had the chance.

But his parents were very very busy workers. They were gone for weeks together on business trips, leaving Cody alone in the house. They did make pretty damn good money though, money enough to fuel his gaming and candy addiction.

But that was where the trouble came.

"Yeah Cody, she said that..." He choked, and paused, trying to think of how best to say what he was trying to say.

"Cody. Your father had a heart attack. He's in the hospital right now on life support, he won't make it through the next 30 minutes. I'm sorry."

The entire pool area went silent at the revelation. Or maybe it was Cody's world stopping from the massive bombshell dropped onto his world, he really couldn't remember which it was. Maybe it was just both.

His drink slipped from his hand and fell to the floor, and he stood there infront of everyone, frozen.

It felt like hours had passed before suddenly, he turned and bolted away from the pool area, back inside to his room where he could escape into his own world where things were fine. But things weren't fine. And now, Cody could finally see it. Cody could see.

Nothing was ever going to be fine.

* * *

Cody didn't know how many days had passed since Chris had announced his father was dead. The days passed slowly, and to his surprise, a few people who weren't Sierra actually knocked on his door to try to get him to come out. The people in specific who chose to do it surprised him the most.

Courtney, Alejandro, Bridgette, Hell, even Heather wanted him to come on out.

But he wouldn't.  
He couldn't.

He was trapped in his own world of depression, no light in sight.

The one person who had actually truly cared, truly loved him was finally gone for good. Slipped away and he didn't even get to see him pass on, didn't get to say goodbye. But given the fact his life always ended up being a massive roller coaster, he still wasn't all surprised.

It wasn't until what Cody thought to be say, day 3 or 2, that someone in particular knocked on his door.

He hadn't eaten at all, not a single crumb of food or a drink of water. He only got up to use the bathroom, and then he jumped right back in his bed. He really didn't feel hungry or thirsty. He just felt... Numb.

Suddenly, a knock was heard on his door. But Cody ignored it. Probably just Sierra again. He just wished she and everyone would just realize he wanted to be left alone. He didn't want to be bothered.

Another knock was heard.

"Go away, please." He called out.

"Cody, open up please."

His heart fluttered and he momentarily forgot the crisis he was in at the of her voice. "G- Gwen?" He called out again.

"Yeah. Just open up and let me in, I won't be long."

In a trance like state, Cody crawled out of his bed and unlatched the lock to the door he installed to keep Sierra out, and then pulled it open to reveal exactly who he expected; Gwen.

She stood there awkwardly, and an even more awkward silence set in.

They stood there for a minutes, Gwen looking him over and Cody just staring head on at her, not sure if this was a dream or not.

"C- Come in."

He flipped on the light to his room, blinding him momentarily and Gwen walked in, stepping over a few things he had thrown around and was too sad to pick up. This was all very confusing to him. Why would Gwen suddenly care? After she used him to vote out Courtney? Kissed Duncan? Hit him? Ignored him?

"Alright Cody, first off. You need to eat and drink." She sat down infront of his bed on a chair that she pulled from the table nearby while Cody sat on his bed.

Cody opened his mouth to speak, but was shushed.

"And secondly, you need to leave this room and get some fresh air. Staying in here won't help a thing."

This time, she paused allowing Cody to talk.

"Okay but... Don't take this the wrong way, but why do you care?" He said bluntly, to which Gwen responded to with a roll of her eyes.

"Because. You might get on my nerves alot, but I still consider you a good friend. And to top it off. I know exactly how you feel, Cody. I've been through it before with my father. He died in a car accident back when I was 13. That was kind of around the time I became goth. We were both really close... I spent weeks locked up in my room, worrying my mother and brother sick."

Cody froze, staring at her unsure of what to say.

"I- I'm sorry, Gwen."

"Don't be. I'm kind of over it now. I still do miss him, but this isn't about me, Cody. It's about you. I know what you are thinking, that the entire world is against you, that everything has gone to Hell and you are stuck, trapped here, alone and scared. I felt all of those things when I was dealing with my father being gone. But you don't have to go through this alone like I did, Cody. Let me help you. Let all of us help you. We don't want you to be in here anymore."

Once again, Cody paused, taking all of this in.

She actually cared and thought of him as a friend? And the others did as well none the less?

"I didn't really think of things like that to be honest. I honestly think I'm kind of alone here except for Sierra, Harold, Noah and Ezekiel. And even then..."

"Well, you aren't. We've all been worried about you. Please, just come on out. I'm here for you if you need to talk to me, and so is everyone else."

Cody looked to the floor of the room before sighing. "Alright Gwen. I'll do it if it makes you happy." And then he was further surprised when she pulled him to a hug, and suddenly he started to cry. He cried there for what felt like hours, and Gwen held him there in her embrace, comforting him for as long as he needed comfort.

At last, he didn't have to go through this all alone anymore.


	3. Tragedy

Cody decided to go ahead and move onto Greece's Pieces, where Gwen and Duncan secretly went behind everyone's backs and were a couple. 'no regrets' they both had. And of course it hurt, it always did, but it didn't really matter, as he was doing what he always did alot of the time when he was watching old episodes of Total Drama; reliving his past.

He sighed as the theme ended, and the episode began; with of course, Gwen and Courtney sitting together chatting it up like lifelong friends. It was insane, baffling to him; how could Gwen do that to Courtney? How could Duncan and Gwen both do that to her? They were friends. Gwen herself got cheated on in Total Drama Island, why'd she do this to Courtney?

These age old questions still drilled into his head, begging for answers, answers which he would not receive because of course; Gwen was gone. The last person he had in the world pretty much.

You could say Sierra was someone he had, but truth be told, he hadn't seen Sierra surprisingly in years ever since that faithful day. The day which still feels like it happened only yesterday... But he was getting ahead of himself. He started to remember things a little more before that.

* * *

It was a week after Gwen and Cody had talked and Gwen managed to convince Cody to leave his room again. All of the cast members, even the ones who actually kind of hated Cody, were glad to see him out and about once more. Although the ones who didn't like him much didn't seem to care all that much, they still seemed to be kind of glad atleast he was okay. Which was surprising. Cody didn't think that people like Alejandro or Duncan would even care about another person going through what he was going through.

It was true, he was still pretty sad from the death of his father, but he had Gwen to talk to about that, and if she was tied up, he could try talking to one of the other contestants. Sometimes, someone even came to him. Just yesterday he opened the door to find Courtney asking how he was doing. And it seemed like she hated him all the time through World Tour.

Such things surprised him. They had gone from hating his guts, to showing empathy and compassion in the flick of a switch. But part of him nagged at the back of his mind, were they just doing it out of pity?

He decided to ignore that question as a knock was heard on his door.

Wasting no time, he quickly walked over to the door, unlocked it and opened it. There standing before him, was not all that surprising, Sierra.

Truth be told, Sierra actually wasn't jumping all over him ever since he came out of his room again. It was like last time he imagined, Sierra restraining herself so he wouldn't run off.

"Hey, Sierra. What's up?" Cody said, and Sierra smiled when she heard the happiness in his voice.

"Codykins! Something amazing has happened!" She said, visually excited. "I couldn't wait to tell you before anyone else! Guess what!?"

Cody gulped.

He wasn't really one for surprises, especially ones from Sierra.

"What?"

Without a single hint or trace of sympathy, sadness, or guilt in her voice she said the words to once more ruin Cody's world:

"Gwen got hit by a car crossing the street back to the hotel! Isn't it great!? That homewrecking gothic bimbo is gone! We can be together now! I can comfort you and no one else can! Come give mama a hug!"

She rushed over and pulled Cody into a hug.

Cody was still processing what she just told him.

"Gwen g- got hit by a car?" He stuttered out, a shocked expression on his face and a dead tone of voice.

"Yep!" She chirped, which caused Cody to quickly push her to the floor and run out of the room, leaving her behind.

"Codykins, wait!"

He had to get out of there. He had to go find Gwen, make sure she was okay.

Running at top speed, he burst the lobby to find Bridgette and Geoff looking down at the floor, sad looks on their faces. They looked up at him and exchanged worried glances when he rushed up to them.

"Where is she? Where's Gwen?"

They both exchanged another nervous glance.

* * *

Cody yawned and stretched as Greece's pieces ended, and the Ex Files began.

He was already feeling disgust and an even greater sadness as he remembered visiting Gwen in the hospital. So many things he wanted to tell her. So many things he couldn't.

Or well, he could, but he wasn't sure if she actually heard him all the times he visited her grave.

But, he liked to think somehow, she was hearing him. Made him feel happier.

But now, it was getting late and he decided to watch one more episode before going to sleep, waking up, and watching more, then going to bed and waking up to go to his job and then go home and watch more and repeat the cycle. Such is his life.

So, as the episode ran, he began remembering more.

* * *

Gwen had a number of tubes going into her body.

Many of her limbs covered in casts, and the room smelled faintly of blood which was at a stark contrast with how the rest of the hospital smelled.

She was admitted about an hour ago, and the xrays the doctors got back showed she had... Broken alot of things. Apparently, she was crossing the street with Duncan and she walked in the path of a drunk driver. The car hit her side, hard. The resulting impact causing her to fly across the street and slam down into the road.

Cody asked the doctors a hundred times by now if she was going to make it, but he received the same answer: it's not likely.

And that answer scared him greatly. He couldn't imagine going on without his best friend. Not at all. She was the person who made him leave his room and try to fight the overwhelming depression brought on by his father's death. She was the one who continued to inspire him day in and day out back on the Island, the one girl he would do anything to be with. She couldn't die...

Right now, her eyes were squeezed shut. She had apparently lost alot of blood, and was passed out when they found her.

He had been alone in the room for the most part, except of the occasional nurse or doctor coming in and out to check on them.

To say he was feeling anxious would be an understatement. If he could chew his nails any faster he would probably achieve lightspeed, but it calms him down.

The heartbeat monitor hooked into Gwen was still beeping, and the brainwave monitor above on the wall was still showing activity. So he remained hopeful, hopeful that she would come out of the darkness she was currently in.

So he waited, and waited, until something happened.

The heartbeat monitor started to beep slower. and slower.

And Cody suddenly felt worry, worry so overwhelming he started to feel weak. He got up from his chair and ran out into the hall, calling for a doctor to come help. He could tell, something was definitely going wrong.

In seconds, doctors swarmed around her working. The monitor starting to beep slower and slower.

"Doctor, we're losing her!" One of the nurses said as they started injecting her with a number of different medicines and medications.

This moment, this moment right here he would remember for possibly the rest of his life. The doctors surrounding his best friend and love interest, the bright lights, the slow beeping on the terminal, while he sat helplessly on the side.

Beep.

...

Beep.

...

Beep.

...

...

Beep.

...

...

...

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

And then, the monitor displayed a flat line.

Her heart had stopped beating.

* * *

Rats scurried along the carpet, carrying more food back to their nests.

He was half-way through the episode now. And half way through his memories conveniently. After this, he was going to crawl into his dirty sheets in his dirty room and fall asleep.

But after all this remembering... He was feeling strange. And he wasn't sure what it was. Disappointment? Eh. It didn't matter at that point to Cody. All that mattered was continuing to remember.

Which he did.

* * *

If the contestants thought Cody was depressed before, he may as well have been dead now. Cody went back to his room, quietly. Avoiding everyone, and then just slipped into his covers and stared up at the ceiling.

He had lost her.

The last person who he could actually open up to, the one person he felt an undying romantic love for. How could this happen to him? No, he knew the answer. He always did.

As usual, no matter how far up he got in life, no matter how hard he tried to stay happy, it would always, ALWAYS, come crashing down around him.

There was a knock at his door.

Sighing with frustration, Cody crawled out of his bed, wanting to get whoever it was away from him. He wanted to just be alone. He wanted to stay alone for the rest of his stay at the damned place.

Unlocking the door he pulled it open to see the smiling face of Sierra.

He scowled.

"What!?"

"Codykins-"

"No! Don't tell me! You're here to try to annoy the HELL out of me, try to get me to LOVE you and be with you because GWEN is DEAD!? Do you even CARE THAT SHE'S DEAD? No! Of course you don't! You're too damn SELFISH. All you care about is being with me for the sake of HAVING ME. YOU DON'T HAVE MY PERSONAL INTEREST in mind AT ALL! DO ME A FAVOR, NEVER. SPEAK. TO. ME. AGAIN. LEAVE. ME. ALONE!"

He finished his rant with a slam to the door in her face and he crawled back in bed. Staring up at the ceiling once more. He was done. Screw it all. He just didn't care anymore.

He had nothing really to look forward to in the future... So, Cody decided it best. To simply live in his past. Live back in the days of his happiness. Entertain the idea Gwen was still around.

And this worked... No one saw him for the rest of the stay at the hotel. No one bothered to try to knock on his door anymore to see if he was alright. They all had figured it out.

He was mourning. And so much more.

* * *

That same feeling of disappointment was there, stronger than ever. Along with regret.

But why? Why now? He had remembered this all before hundreds of times, but suddenly he was feeling inner conflict about it? Was it the way he treated Sierra? The way he disconnected himself from reality? Why was he feeling this now?

It didn't make any sense.

The credits to the show rolled, and Cody turned the TV off and stood on his legs, stretching and yawning more. He was tired.

He had time to think about this tomorrow. For now, he would rest.

Taking care not to step on the roaches, he climbed into his crusty sheets and turned the light off, ready to begin entering his dreams, where everything was okay and fine.

But nothing would prepare him for what was going to happen next.


	4. Acceptance

**Sorry this one took so long. AT&T decided they wanted money that I didn't have.**

* * *

As he slipped away into his slumber, he felt strange. like an electricity was in the air, the type of feeling you would get when your limb falls asleep, only all throughout your body.

Cody couldn't move, and his body felt extremely heavy.

"Cody?"

Suddenly Cody found himself standing in the middle of a dark, dark room. He looked around, and it was empty except for him.

"Hello? He called out, confused.

"Cody."

That voice...

Cody could recognize it anywhere.

"Gwen?"

Immediately after saying her name, Gwen appeared infront of him. She was wearing the same clothes she wore at the funeral, beautiful white which seemed to light the darkness in the void.

Cody stared at her, frozen in pure disbelief. How could she be standing here? Was this a dream? The last thing he could remember was falling asleep. Gwen had appeared in his dreams before, but not like this... It all felt so... Real.

"I know what you're thinking;is this a dream?" She spoke suddenly, her voice sounded strange. It was like how he remembered it, only... It carried an electricity almost. It made the hairs on Cody's arm stand up.

"The answer to that question is up to you, Cody. But I need to talk to you right now."

As if caught in a trance, Cody nodded.

"Whatever you need Gwen."

Gwen smiled slightly. "Even after all these years you still are in love with me. Typical Cody. I'd say you were just like I remembered you, but I'd be lying."

Cody frowned. "What do you mean?"

Sighing, Gwen folded her arms. "Come on Cody. You can't honestly tell me you haven't changed at all. The life you are living now is completely different from the one you were meant to live."

This threw Cody off even more. "What... What is this Gwen? Why are you here now?" He asked, but he knew the answer already.

"Because. It has gone on long enough. I am here to help you get your life back on track. I know you think you've been alone all these years, but I have always been here for you, Cody. Watching. And I have to say. I'm kind of disappointed."

"Disappointed? But why? What am I doing wrong?" He asked 'Gwen', feeling weird asking that question. He really didn't think he was doing anything wrong. He was just living life... Wasn't he?

"You aren't living your life. You're living in the past." She spoke, answering his inner questions. "Cody. I don't want this... I never wanted this. I want you to move on, Cody. I'm gone. And I can't help you anymore like I did before. But that doesn't mean you can't help yourself. You can make your life alot better, Cody."

Cody rubbed his temples. "But I'm happy with my life the way it is." He said, and deep down something fought against him saying that.

Gwen chuckled.

"You're telling me you're happy living in a depressed stupor, working at a job that you obviously don't like, going home to a pig sty and then doing nothing but watching re-runs of Total Drama all day long? You never were a good liar Cody, and I never was a good people person, but I can tell that you don't want things like this deep down. You have to move on."

Cody thought over everything.

He didn't want to move into a bigger and better apartment because... Because of her. He wanted to be close to her grave, and he wanted to stay in his habit. He was afraid of breaking out of it and leaving her.

He didn't want to leave his job and take up one of the many better offers because he didn't want to break the habit and the feeling of going to his normal job.

He didn't want to clean his house because he had become used to it...

Did he really want to live his life like this? He only asked himself this question a few times before, and he always ignored it, shunned it off to the dark recesses of his mind, but now he can't shun it off.. He has to answer. "Only you can help yourself." Gwen's words echoed in his head.

Speaking of Gwen she continued to look at him, waiting for his response. It was like her eyes were piercing deep into his soul.

Gwen... All of this started with her.

The week following her death, when everyone went home including him, he started to slowly fall into a pattern. He had given up because of her. Given up the fight. He had been up on the highest point of happiness again, and like usual life through him off. So he gave up... This coupled with everything she had just told him put into consideration, he realized the truth.

He had to get over her and move on with his life. And everything she told him was true.

Gulping, Cody turned to her.

"Gwen." His voice was shaky. "Gwen... I... I don't..." He sighed, collecting his thoughts while Gwen continued watching, nodding at him to continue.

"You were the only there for me, Gwen. The only one who truly cared, you made me feel... Alive when I was around you. And when you died I guess... I guess I gave up. Because everytime I got high up in life, I would fall back into the darkness. You were the last time that happened. After you died, I felt like I died with you. I didn't want to try to make things better anymore, I just wanted to try and stay in my habits because I was scared. Scared of being hurt all over again."

He looked away from her.

"But I guess I still am hurting... Maybe I always have been hurting after you died. But you're right... I could have tried to move on. I could have gotten a better life all this time, Hell, I could have gotten a better job, a better house, even friends if I would have just... God I'm a fool."

Gwen stepped forward to him, and pulled him into a hug. "There. You just did it... You're ready now, Cody."

Cody was about to ask her, 'ready for what?' but he suddenly knew the answer. And it was indeed time.

"You're right Gwen."

He pulled himself out of her hug and she frowned at him.

"Gwen..."

The darkness of the void started to brighten up a bit as he continued to speak.

"I..."

Slowly she started to fade.

"Goodbye, Gwen."

Then, immediately after he said that, everything began to go faster. The darkness around him began to become light, and Gwen faded away, but as she faded away, a smile was on her face.

* * *

Cody jerked awake.

His sheets were covered in sweat.

He turned over on his side, looking at the alarm clock next to him which read "4:21 AM".

What was that? Was it all a dream? He could remember it all so vividly... It felt nothing like a dream. Maybe it was a dream? Caused by all the Total Drama he was watching? No. It couldn't have been a dream... She was there and now... She was gone? It felt like something inside of him was... Different. Like a blanket was pulled off of him somehow.

And weirdly. Cody felt alot better.

Maybe this was all a sign, or something. Maybe it really was time for him to finally move on... And to accept it. To accept that Gwen is gone, and that he can make his life better.

"Only you can help yourself." She had told him.

And it was completely true. Every single word of it.

* * *

**-Fast Forward: 2 Months Later-**

* * *

"...If PyC == True... And... Done!"

He punched in the last few lines of code, and then saved all the changes he made to the program right as the clock behind him hit 7:30 PM. Cody had worked extra fast today, because today was the day. His last day at the company.

And he couldn't feel happier.

He turned off the computer and then walked out of his office and into the hall, then took a right to his boss's room, the door to which was open.

There behind the desk, was his boss, sipping a cup of coffee.

"Cody, Cody, Cody. Take a seat."

Cody obliged, pulling a chair up to his boss's desk and sitting down, a small smile on his face.

"Ah Cody. You've been a fantastic employee all these years you've been with us. I'm honestly sad to see you going now. I hope whatever company you move onto next will treat you great. It's been a pleasure working with you, Cody Anderson." His boss held out his hand, and Cody took ahold of it, shaking his hand.

"The pleasure is all mine, sir."

Cody got out of the seat, saying another goodbye to his boss, before walking out of the building and up to his new car which he had bought after selling his old one. It was a brand new 2014 CTS SEDAN, and Cody loved it to bits. It ran so much better than his old one.

He pulled out of the drive way, taking one last look at the old office building he once worked at, the smile not leaving his face.

Once he got home, he was going to finish packing up his things to move on over to the new apartment he had looked at and picked out. This new apartment was in a better part of Toronto, out of the dangerous neighborhood he currently lived in.

It took him a few days to fully clean up the month old garbage which had collected up in his apartment, but he had to admit, once all that stuff was gone he felt alot happier and better.

After cleaning up the trash, he contemplated throwing his old Total Drama DVDs in the garbage, but he decided to keep them. It was true, he had moved on, but he still wanted to keep them. Just for old times sake.

The digital clock in his car read 7:36, and he decided he had enough time to do something extra.

So, he pulled off his usual path, no longer feeling the usual tinge of anxiety that came with doing something like that, and then pulled up to the building where 'Gwen' was. He hadn't visited her grave ever since she had came to him in his dream, as he had decided to finally move on, but he had to do something here, right now while he still could.

"Hey there, kid. Haven't seen you in a while. Where ya been?" The guard took a sip of what Cody presumed to be beer before chuckling. "Ah well, I don't really care. Make it snappy, kid. Closing in a few, you know the drill."

Nodding, Cody walked through the now open gates and maneuvered his way through the rows of graves until he found her.

Regardless of being here, Cody's smile still was on his face, albeit lighter than before.

Stepping over to her grave, he sat down in his usual spot infront of her.

"Hey Gwen."

No response, but something strange was in the air. It almost... electrical.

"Well Gwen, I'm finally doing it. Finally getting a better job, moving into a better apartment. And you know what that means."

No response.

"Means I won't be able to see you anymore. Unless I drive all the way out here of course. But strangely, I'm not that sad about it, Gwen. I feel alot better now that I'm finally doing this. You were completely right; only I can help myself. But in a way, you were also wrong about it. If it weren't for you 'visiting' me that night, I probably wouldn't have done this but... It just is strange. I'm not sure how to explain it."

Still no response, and the skies above him through colorful rays of Sunshine across the darkening sky.

"But I'd like to just thank you, Gwen. Thanks to you, I can move on now."

He sat like this for a few more minutes, smiling at her headstone.

"Hey kid, times up. Up and at'em." The guard called from behind him.

Cody rose up to his feet. "Well Gwen, I guess this is it. Goodbye, Gwen. And thanks for everything."

Then he began walking away, back to the gate, not looking back.

Once he got into his car and pulled out, he looked at the building and graveyard a final time, the Sun setting above it. It may have been a trick of the eye, or his mind playing tricks on him, but Cody could have swore he saw a glimpse of Gwen standing on her grave, smiling at him as he pulled out of the drive way.

**And there we go! I'd like to thank all of my readers for sticking with this story. And again, I apologize for the long stretch of time it took for me to put this chapter up. AT&T and all that jazz.**

**I'll admit, I put a little bit of myself into this story. I have been in a pretty terrible mood for the past month, but slowly I'm starting to get over it and move on in life. I wish I hadn't had waited so long to write this chapter, since now it looks a little... Weird. But I think it turned out pretty nice. So once again, thanks to all my readers! Please, do leave your thoughts on the story and criticisms in the reviews!  
**

**Until next time,**

**~Twisted**


End file.
